Why You Are NOT Dying of Ebola.

By: Zak Rosen '16

Of the ten thousand reported cases of Ebola, 99.95% of them have happened in Africa. 4 have occurred in the United States. Almost 37 times as many people die of second hand smoke A DAY than have been infected in the US so far. You have a better chance of being hit by a car on your way to Severn.

Ebola is not very infectious. At all. Compared to small pox, SARS, the bubonic plague, or internet memes, it does not infect nearly as easily. You can stand next to an Ebola patient for hours an not be infected. If you are really frightened of Ebola, don’t become a doctor in a region where Ebola is a problem; medical personnel have some of the highest rates of infection (they are cleaning up the patients’ vomit after all).

Ebola is endemic to certain regions of Africa and was probably given to patient zero through bushmeat or exposure to an animal. The region is especially vulnerable to the spread of the disease because the infrastructure of some of these nations is not nearly as advanced as ours. We have the CDC, which is perfectly equipped to handle any diseased persons entering the United States. Sierra Leone, Guinea, and Liberia really need assistance. Some nations are helping them, but there is more to be done. If you really don’t want Ebola, don’t go to Sierra Leone, Guinea, or Liberia. If you really need to go, then don’t eat fruit bats. Simple stuff.

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Girl's Varsity Tennis Recap

From Left: Claire Harding '15 and Addie Hinton '16 at the Fall Athletic Awards Assembly

By: Addie Hinton '16

From the 20th to the 24th of October, girls varsity tennis had their end of the year tournament. With only one graduated senior, the team was expected to advance in the A Conference rankings. Finishing top three last year, Coach Cathy Officer was determined to take home the trophy. But with the standout schools of Bryn Mawr and McDonogh, along with Mt. De Sales moving up from the B Conference, there was plenty of competition. 

Under the leadership and motivational pep talks of Julianne Podoley and Claire Harding, the girls were able to pull out a winning season record, only losing twice to the powerhouses of Bryn Mawr and McDonogh. Each player would also end up being seeded top four in their bracket and everyone had the chance to win. 

Number one seed, Addie Hinton, would make it all the way to the semifinals, where she would meet the undefeated Bryn Mawr player, who would eventually go on to take the match and the tournament, only dropping a handful of games throughout the whole season. 

Number two singles, Priya Lakenhpal, would advance all the way to the finals, taking out Bryn Mawr's number two in a intense match along the way. In the finals, she would enter a battle against the player from McDonogh. Despite playing some of her best tennis, the opponent would win the match in straight sets. 

Ana Mann and Hannah Butler, our number one doubles team, had a tremendous win-lose record, earning the third seed in the tournament. Bryn Mawr would eventually take out the Sophomore duo in the quarterfinals. 

Julianne Podoley and Claire Harding were also seeded third in their two doubles bracket. After a three set match against Spalding, the Seniors were given no time to enjoy the win, for another marathon match against Bryn Mawr was awaiting them. Bryn Mawr would take them out in the semifinals, but Julianne and Claire finished their senior season with a fantastic record. 

Last, our third doubles of Christen Morrell and Audrey Cortes would finish the regular season undefeated, storming through every opponent they faced. In the finals, McDonogh would get the best of them and Christen and Audrey would finish second in the league.

Overall, the team had a great season, only losing twice in the regular season and every player being seeded top four in the end of the year tournament. 

McDonogh would lock in their victory with having a team in every one of the finals and Bryn Mawr would later claim second place. After two and a half hours, McDonogh defeated Mt. de Sales in three sets, securing third place for Severn School.

The team had a great record, only losing twice in the regular season. With only two graduating seniors, we hope to keep improving and to move up in the conference rankings. Under coach Officer and JV coach, Coach Clint, girl's Severn Tennis will strive to maintain their good standing in the A Conference rankings.

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The Illusion Cast Satire

From left: Lizzie Purnell '15 and Zach Rosen '16 in The Illusion

By Zak Rosen '16

As most of you know, The Illusion closed its curtains a couple of weeks ago. Below is my take on the cast:

The son (Jack Maniscalco): The James Bond of 1650‘s France. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He might be a psychopath. He’s got it all, but will he get the girl? 

The rival (AJ Gersh): A combination of wealthy and clingy. Incontrovertible evidence that the friend zone is... an illusion.

The love interest (Alana Sokoloff): She is approximately 10 times as interesting as anyone from twilight. This play should have been made into a 5 part movie series instead. Darn the cultural decay of modern society.

The maid (Paige Sachowitz): Wants to find the right man but is down on her luck. With out a doubt the only intelligent character in any of the illusions. She laughs at all them fools.

The old man (Zak Rosen): Boring angry old man who is incapable of emotion. He probably got no love as a child. Let’s hope he dies midway through the play.

The madman (Jimmy Dimondidis): Lovers include the Queen of Iceland, Elizabeth I, Marilyn Munroe, Empress Wu, Snooki, and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Objectively the funniest person in modern society.
The witch (Lizzie Purnell): The equivalent of Beyonce. Bow, peasants.

The father (Chris Nguyen): Angry, slightly younger old man. Only person more hated than the old man. 

The Amanuensis (Sam Agro): The most complex character in the play. His shoulders are heavy with the weight of his past, and his eyes reflect a deeper sadness the world has never seen. His mouth says little but his eyebrows say much. Ever since... the event, his life has never been the same. He seeks redemption, peace, and love. He is the true star of the illusion. Bae.

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