The Illusion Cast Satire

From left: Lizzie Purnell '15 and Zach Rosen '16 in The Illusion

By Zak Rosen '16

As most of you know, The Illusion closed its curtains a couple of weeks ago. Below is my take on the cast:

The son (Jack Maniscalco): The James Bond of 1650‘s France. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He might be a psychopath. He’s got it all, but will he get the girl? 

The rival (AJ Gersh): A combination of wealthy and clingy. Incontrovertible evidence that the friend zone is... an illusion.

The love interest (Alana Sokoloff): She is approximately 10 times as interesting as anyone from twilight. This play should have been made into a 5 part movie series instead. Darn the cultural decay of modern society.

The maid (Paige Sachowitz): Wants to find the right man but is down on her luck. With out a doubt the only intelligent character in any of the illusions. She laughs at all them fools.

The old man (Zak Rosen): Boring angry old man who is incapable of emotion. He probably got no love as a child. Let’s hope he dies midway through the play.

The madman (Jimmy Dimondidis): Lovers include the Queen of Iceland, Elizabeth I, Marilyn Munroe, Empress Wu, Snooki, and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Objectively the funniest person in modern society.
The witch (Lizzie Purnell): The equivalent of Beyonce. Bow, peasants.

The father (Chris Nguyen): Angry, slightly younger old man. Only person more hated than the old man. 

The Amanuensis (Sam Agro): The most complex character in the play. His shoulders are heavy with the weight of his past, and his eyes reflect a deeper sadness the world has never seen. His mouth says little but his eyebrows say much. Ever since... the event, his life has never been the same. He seeks redemption, peace, and love. He is the true star of the illusion. Bae.