The Mourning Meating: Spring Break

By: Zachary Rosen '16

Next week represents the last before the beginning of Spring Break: a two week long period during which students can unwind, relax, and have some fun. Here are some plans some students have for how they will spend their fortnight hiatus:

- Catching some rays on a beach. More specifically some gamma rays. It is a very unusual beach.

- Sitting in a dark room and staring at the walls without blinking.

- Stumbling around in a closet until finding Narnia; becoming the divine right monarch of Narnia; ruling for thirty years until returning to the mundane world; regretting that decision.

- Game hunting unicorns in Montana (that's where the unicorns live, right?)

- Screaming into the void.

- Chilling on the couch watching Netflix with my cats; and my dogs; and my lizards.

- Wandering the empty halls of Severn thinking longingly about times gone by and the impending threat of graduation and assimilation into the real world.

- Convincing Elon Musk to run for President. Please Elon. You are our only hope.

- Working on my fellows oh God please help me I'm so far behind SOS.

- Definitely not returning to Russia, because I am definitely not a spy for Putin. Definitely not. Why are you asking if I'm a Soviet era spy? Maybe you're the spy. Yep. Check and mate. Take that comrade.

These are some of the more interesting Spring break activities. If you've got an activity that you think might be interesting, feel free to write an article about it and send it to your friendly local neighborhood anchor editors. Please. We are low-key really desperate. Why else do you think they keep letting me write this column? The Mourning Meating has less journalistic integrity than Buzzfeed.