Mourning Meating: AP Exams

By Zak Rosen '16

Hello students. We find ourselves, again, in the midst of AP Exams. Those wonderful culminating assessments that truly demonstrate your mastery of a variety of subjects, from multiple choice guessing to writing an essay in 40 minutes. A few last minute tests have been added by the benevolent and all powerful college board.

These tests are as followed:

• AP Crying (tears will be provided for you) 
• AP Physics Q: Weird Physics 
• AP Sport (aquatic, terrestrial, of aerial) 
• AP AP (a score of 5 immediately provides a bachelors, disqualifying one from needing college) 
• AP Poisonous Animals (reptiles will be provided, but you need to bring your own amphibians) 
• AP Existentialism 
• AP Capitalism 
• AP Authoritarianism

Good luck everyone, and remember: your scores on these tests directly determine your success, happiness, and the meaningfulness of your life during and after college.