Why You Are NOT Dying of Ebola.

By: Zak Rosen '16

Of the ten thousand reported cases of Ebola, 99.95% of them have happened in Africa. 4 have occurred in the United States. Almost 37 times as many people die of second hand smoke A DAY than have been infected in the US so far. You have a better chance of being hit by a car on your way to Severn.

Ebola is not very infectious. At all. Compared to small pox, SARS, the bubonic plague, or internet memes, it does not infect nearly as easily. You can stand next to an Ebola patient for hours an not be infected. If you are really frightened of Ebola, don’t become a doctor in a region where Ebola is a problem; medical personnel have some of the highest rates of infection (they are cleaning up the patients’ vomit after all).

Ebola is endemic to certain regions of Africa and was probably given to patient zero through bushmeat or exposure to an animal. The region is especially vulnerable to the spread of the disease because the infrastructure of some of these nations is not nearly as advanced as ours. We have the CDC, which is perfectly equipped to handle any diseased persons entering the United States. Sierra Leone, Guinea, and Liberia really need assistance. Some nations are helping them, but there is more to be done. If you really don’t want Ebola, don’t go to Sierra Leone, Guinea, or Liberia. If you really need to go, then don’t eat fruit bats. Simple stuff.

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Girl's Varsity Tennis Recap

From Left: Claire Harding '15 and Addie Hinton '16 at the Fall Athletic Awards Assembly

By: Addie Hinton '16

From the 20th to the 24th of October, girls varsity tennis had their end of the year tournament. With only one graduated senior, the team was expected to advance in the A Conference rankings. Finishing top three last year, Coach Cathy Officer was determined to take home the trophy. But with the standout schools of Bryn Mawr and McDonogh, along with Mt. De Sales moving up from the B Conference, there was plenty of competition. 

Under the leadership and motivational pep talks of Julianne Podoley and Claire Harding, the girls were able to pull out a winning season record, only losing twice to the powerhouses of Bryn Mawr and McDonogh. Each player would also end up being seeded top four in their bracket and everyone had the chance to win. 

Number one seed, Addie Hinton, would make it all the way to the semifinals, where she would meet the undefeated Bryn Mawr player, who would eventually go on to take the match and the tournament, only dropping a handful of games throughout the whole season. 

Number two singles, Priya Lakenhpal, would advance all the way to the finals, taking out Bryn Mawr's number two in a intense match along the way. In the finals, she would enter a battle against the player from McDonogh. Despite playing some of her best tennis, the opponent would win the match in straight sets. 

Ana Mann and Hannah Butler, our number one doubles team, had a tremendous win-lose record, earning the third seed in the tournament. Bryn Mawr would eventually take out the Sophomore duo in the quarterfinals. 

Julianne Podoley and Claire Harding were also seeded third in their two doubles bracket. After a three set match against Spalding, the Seniors were given no time to enjoy the win, for another marathon match against Bryn Mawr was awaiting them. Bryn Mawr would take them out in the semifinals, but Julianne and Claire finished their senior season with a fantastic record. 

Last, our third doubles of Christen Morrell and Audrey Cortes would finish the regular season undefeated, storming through every opponent they faced. In the finals, McDonogh would get the best of them and Christen and Audrey would finish second in the league.

Overall, the team had a great season, only losing twice in the regular season and every player being seeded top four in the end of the year tournament. 

McDonogh would lock in their victory with having a team in every one of the finals and Bryn Mawr would later claim second place. After two and a half hours, McDonogh defeated Mt. de Sales in three sets, securing third place for Severn School.

The team had a great record, only losing twice in the regular season. With only two graduating seniors, we hope to keep improving and to move up in the conference rankings. Under coach Officer and JV coach, Coach Clint, girl's Severn Tennis will strive to maintain their good standing in the A Conference rankings.

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The Illusion Cast Satire

From left: Lizzie Purnell '15 and Zach Rosen '16 in The Illusion

By Zak Rosen '16

As most of you know, The Illusion closed its curtains a couple of weeks ago. Below is my take on the cast:

The son (Jack Maniscalco): The James Bond of 1650‘s France. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He might be a psychopath. He’s got it all, but will he get the girl? 

The rival (AJ Gersh): A combination of wealthy and clingy. Incontrovertible evidence that the friend zone is... an illusion.

The love interest (Alana Sokoloff): She is approximately 10 times as interesting as anyone from twilight. This play should have been made into a 5 part movie series instead. Darn the cultural decay of modern society.

The maid (Paige Sachowitz): Wants to find the right man but is down on her luck. With out a doubt the only intelligent character in any of the illusions. She laughs at all them fools.

The old man (Zak Rosen): Boring angry old man who is incapable of emotion. He probably got no love as a child. Let’s hope he dies midway through the play.

The madman (Jimmy Dimondidis): Lovers include the Queen of Iceland, Elizabeth I, Marilyn Munroe, Empress Wu, Snooki, and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Objectively the funniest person in modern society.
The witch (Lizzie Purnell): The equivalent of Beyonce. Bow, peasants.

The father (Chris Nguyen): Angry, slightly younger old man. Only person more hated than the old man. 

The Amanuensis (Sam Agro): The most complex character in the play. His shoulders are heavy with the weight of his past, and his eyes reflect a deeper sadness the world has never seen. His mouth says little but his eyebrows say much. Ever since... the event, his life has never been the same. He seeks redemption, peace, and love. He is the true star of the illusion. Bae.

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"The Illusion"- Interview with Mr. Ron Giddings '99

Lizzie Purnell '15, A.J. Gersh '15, and
Jack Maniscalco '15
in "The Illusion"

By A.J. Gersh '15

Led by new theatre director Mr. Ron Giddings '99, the Water Street Players will be performing their adaptation of the hilarious comedy, "The Illusion," by Tony Kushner and Pierre Corneille. 

AJG: Mr. Giddings, what are your expectations for your first show directed at Severn?

RG: Perfection. I expect it to make a really big impact. I hope that we have a really high attendance why i wanted to do something that was fun. 

I am hoping it's not just Severn people coming to the show. I hope this sparks a lot more community involvement. 

It is a great piece of literature, so I hope the school faculty likes it. 

I don’t like to do shows that it's like, "Oh that is a high school version of that." I want to be at a professional level. I want people to go see "The Illusion" not "the watered-down high school version of The Illusion."

I think this will be an awesome production and not just a little high school version of the show.

AJG: Tell me a bit about the cast individually and as a whole. 

RG: So, what I really like about this cast, in particular, is that we have a wide range of experience. We go from people who have done every show in their severn career, to people who are in their first show; freshman to seniors- a good spread. 

There is definitely a family and ensemble feel to the whole thing, from the senior leadership to freshmen up and comers. 

Individually, I want everybody to give honest, relatable performances, that allows the audience to connect and love all of the characters for different reasons. 

The is the first show that seniors have done in a classical style, this allows them to have a full theatre experience at Severn. 

AJG: What are you bringing to Severn's theatre program this year? 

RG: 

- We're doing the theatre-goers trips to grow school wide interest in theatre. A couple weeks ago, we saw Amedaeus up at Center Stage in Baltimore. 

- I want more people seeing shows and that has a lot to do with show selection and marketing, so I am definitely trying to improve in those categories.

- I am trying to expand the Upper School curriculum to have more upper level theatre courses. 

- We are doing a full length show in fall AND spring, which is basically doubling the program. 

- I want to have an understudy performance/showcase (afternoon of the final show) a truncated version of the show, directed by a senior. All the understudies will have to go on and do a few scenes. 

AJG: As we wrap this up, do you have words to leave me with?

RG: "IT'S TIME FOR THE ARTS TO EXPLODE.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Synopsis for The Illusion:

What are the real powers of sorcery? To alter? To define? To transport? Tony Kushner and Pierre Corneille before him go for all three, which is only part of the magic in Kushner's fanciful adaptation of Corneille's "The Illusion." 

Simply put, this is the tale of a rigid father, Pridamant (Zak Rosen '16), who, stricken with remorse for having provoked his son to flee the family home, searches out the magician Alcandre (Lizzie Purnell '15) in the hope that she will help him find out what happened to the wayward boy.  Alcandre does, and the ironic twist of the piece is that after several false starts, passionate re-enactments, comic delusions and confusions, the truth is revealed and Papa finds he doesn't like it. The lighthearted ending is a cynical but honest lesson in selective affection.  All the fun, however, is in getting there. "The Illusion" takes us into territory on which theater thrives: fantasy, witchcraft, transcended place and time.  The entire play happens in Alcandre's cave, a forbidding place, watched over by Alcandre's sinister amanuensis and where Pridamant watches on the sidelines while Alcandre leads him through reconstituted events in his son's life.  We watch the son fall in love with a woman above his station, kill one dandified suitor, fight a duel with another, marry the girl over her father's objections and the thwartings of her jealous maid. Truth or apparitions? We'll let you savor the surprises of the Corneille/Kushner ending. They're worth waiting for.

Starring Lizzie Purnell '15 and Zak Rosen '16, the play also features seniors Jack Maniscalco '15, Paige Sachwitz '15, AJ Gersh '15, and Chris Nguyen '15, as well as underclassmen Sam Agro '18, Alanna Sokoloff '16, and Jimmy Diamondidis '18.

So, there you have it, folks. Come out to Price Auditorium at 7PM from November 20-22 to see the Water Street Players' hilarious fall play!

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Orioles fans should be proud of unlikely success.

AP Photo

By A.J. Gersh '15

Well, it's the end of the baseball season for us Baltimorons.

Sadly, as the Royals completed a miracle ALCS sweep, the Orioles will be watching the Fall Classic from their couches.

Yes, the team could have and should have performed better offensively in the ALCS, but I am not complaining. Our starting pitching staff held up their end of the deal, keeping the Birds in some games that definitely did not deserve to be competitive. The relief pitching (for the most part) did a fair job getting batters out in key situations. Sadly for the Orioles, the American League's most powerful offense seemed to cool down at the wrong time.

However, this postseason loss does not give fans a reason to shrug and frown. The Orioles were going up against the hottest team in baseball (Kansas City) who seemed to match up perfectly with all of their flaws (an advanced base-running team with pitchers that rarely gave up the long ball). In that situation, there is simply nothing that could have been done. I, certainly, am not mad.

This team faced adversity throughout the entire season, starting and ending the year without Platinum-Glove winning third baseman Manny Machado, while losing All-Stars Matt Wieters and Chris Davis along the way, as well. With the loss of three of their most valuable players, did this team choke and fall to last place (much like half of the baseball "experts" predicted pre-season)?

No.

The "next-man-up" mentality of this team helped Buck Showalter's squad thrive during the midseason and pennant race, eventually leading to the team's first AL EAST DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP since 1997. 

Guys like Steve Peace, Ryan Flaherty and Caleb Joseph stepped into unlikely starting positions and exceeded expectations, defensively and offensively.

After signing a $50 million dollar deal in the offseason, Ubaldo Jimenez was almost immediately considered a bust. However, Bud Norris, Miguel Gonzalez, and Kevin Gausman "turned on the heat" during the late-season stretch and pitched the Orioles to the best record in the AL in the second half.

It did not matter who was in the starting lineup or which players were performing well. Manager Buck Showalter, throughout the entirety of the season, continually stressed that, "[He likes] our guys."

Even though the incredible season did not culminate in a World Series victory, this team managed to carry a starting lineup of journey-men, rookies, and so-called "washed-up" players to an AL East title and to the AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES.

That, my friends, is quite the accomplishment and is DEFINITELY something to be proud of.

Tip your caps, Orioles fans, to an incredible season... and hopefully another in 2015.

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The Anchor Music Column (October 1-17)

Liam Ryan '17 playing guitar at the annual Club Fair

By Joe Johnston '15

I am consciously making the decision early on that since music is such an incredibly subjective media, I will not be “reviewing” any of it. My opinions are bound to crop up, but in fear of the insanity of music fans, I won't presume to call any of them final.

Instead, I hope to focus on news and interesting occurrences in the music industry, while keeping up to date on upcoming releases or any new announcements. If I happen to miss anyones favorite Indie Neo-Garage-Noise outfit’s new single, feel free to let me know (I still won’t mention them). 

Anyway, EDM fans are in for a treat this week as Steve Aoki’s Neon Future and Aphex Twin’s Syro are launching alongside the ever-mysterious producer SBTRTK’s Wonder Where We Land. Singles have been dropping of this record for a while now, pulling features like A$AP Ferg and the rising (18 y/o) Raury showing that this is not strictly an EDM effort, and I'm giddy. As far as the rock scene goes, just about everybody is aware of Weezer’s album looming over the October release window, along with a few less people aware of Hozier’s. Yellowcard is also checking in, if anyone wants to be reminded of elementary school (sorry, Yellowcard). 

Hip-Hop for the month of September is split almost entirely into two camps, those anticipating Chris Brown’s X, and the others who are much more concerned with the mega-hyped freshman LP of Pro Era frontman Joey Bada$$. The lack of solid info on B4.Da.Ss. and grainy leaked audio clips have East Coast fans ravenous, but it should be a banger, so let's hope the hype is deserved. '

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A letter to the students.

Dear Severn Community, 

I need your help. This is Art speaking. I have been feeling a little blue lately, because many of you (not including the teachers reading this) have NOT been spending any time with me, claiming that you are all too busy. “I have too much math homework, soccer practice, or AP classes...” You all make too many excuses to not see me, and I am beginning to think that some of the Severn community doesn’t like me. I, Art again, only have a few friends who think that I am spectacular. And when I ask them why everyone else ignores me in the hallways (think about the cabinets in front of Price) or leaves me in the studios unfinished, gathering dust, my loyal friends tell me that it’s because you all, Severnites, believe that you’re not good enough to spend any time with me and think that I would be boring. But I promise you that I am fun! Come and visit me in Mrs. Carsely’s room or learn how to throw on the wheel with me in Ms. Stone’s room, or decorate your bucks! Please, I am so lonely. Does anyone want to visit me or do something fun? Do you have any ideas about me, Art? How can I get more popular in school and engage other people? Since I am Art and I don’t have an email, if you have any ideas on how I can become more popular and happy at Severn School, please email my friend, Honor Murphy. Please help!

Thanks for reading this, 

ART

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HOROSCOPES: October 12-19

HOROSCOPES:
By Annie Mott '16

ARIES: Today you are feeling eager and excited, and most likely finish all your homework in free period with time to spare. However, don't be too impulsive or rash with your excitement, because with the Moon's position that can turn into forgetfulness concerning upcoming quizzes or tests.

TAURUS: Today is your lucky day due to the position of Neptune in the sky. Have you bought lottery tickets yet? Everything will seem like it is going right for you- mega-lunch, no homework, and you even found the perfect homecoming shoes.

GEMINI: You're feeling torn today, almost as if you have two opposite sides warring within yourself. Are there any conflicts going on between you and your friends? If so, don't give in to your emotional side and say something you'll regret.

CANCER: You're feeling tired today, probably due to staying up late working on a project or essay, but don't let it get you down. Your hard work will pay off in the end.

LEO: Today is not your day. The alignment of Mercury and Uranus predict doom and gloom- nothing will go your way. The best course of action would be to take a sick day and keep your head down. 

VIRGO: Today, you are going to try new things, whether it be forming a new relationship with someone you hadn't known well before, or a new class activity. With the positions of Mars and Pluto, it is advisable to accept all new things head-on and enjoy them.

LIBRA: Did you forget something today? Maybe your dirty bucks or a school assignment? Today, you are feeling very out-of-sorts and the day seems to pass by in a haze. Hopefully you don't have any important tests!

SCORPIO: You're having trouble focusing and communicating with the dissonance of the Moon and it is affecting your personal and professional life. Try to speak your mind with those around you- don't withdraw into your shell.

SAGITTARIUS: You are feeling very positive today, a change from the past few. Everything is looking up, and you just got a good grade on a test. Keep the positive attitude, because Spirit Week is just around the corner!

CAPRICORN: With the advent of Saturn and Mars, you will feel angry and frustrated. Don't act too harshly around your peers, however, because you could end up offending someone. Keep your mouth shut and don't let your bad mood affect your day.

AQUARIUS: Today, you're missing summer. Wishing you could go back to when there was no school and no work, you let yourself daydream and don't pay attention in class or your friends. 

PISCES: You are excited for the coming of fall and winter, and especially Spirit Week. Things are starting to get busy for you, and you probably have a large project the you will soon be working on. Don't let it overwhelm you!

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Ask The Admiral!

Question of the Week: How do I balance school... and everything else?

By: “The Admiral”

Now that school is in full swing, how do we make time for homework, studying, friends, extra curricular, and, most importantly, ourselves? Well, first thing’s first, take a deep breath and carve out some time to organize yourself in a calm, non-stressful environment. There are four simple steps towards the perfect school year!

Step 1: Set Priorities 

Short-term priorities normally take the most time, and should be done before all else. Longer-term commitments, like completing a big paper or studying for that huge chapter test, should be spaced out over time. Both short and long-term dates should definitely be put in your planner!

Step Two: Set Manageable Goals

Writing an "A+" worthy essay in one night is next to impossible. To write the best essay, you must space it out accordingly, in order to revise it over the next few days. Set a goal to complete an opening paragraph and a concrete thesis done the first day, then do one or two body paragraphs the next. Setting achievable goals are the key to success, leading to more precise work and an incredible sense of accomplishment!

Step Three: Seek Balance

If you find yourself becoming stressed, get up and do something that will relieve you. To relieve stress, some people like to eat a snack, go outside, or talk to friends. Being stressed will negatively you both academically and personally and probably means that you are lacking balance in one aspect of your life. It is also important to know that Mrs. Straub, our guidance counselor, and many other faculty members are willing to help you lift that unwanted eight off of your shoulders!  When feeling overwhelmed, figuring out what your "stress-reliever" is will be key to success.

Step Four: Take Advantage of the Weekends:

The weekends are a great time to rejuvenate yourself from the stressful school week. Use this time wisely to catch up with friends, hang out with your family, or do any hobbies that you love. Planning fun activities to do on the weekend can make the week go by faster, giving you motivation and something to look forward to. 

These four steps will really help you keep balance in your life. If you find yourself losing balance, take a step back and see what needs to be changed. Balance is one of the most important things in life. If your whole life is balanced, then you are on your way to a happy, healthy school year.

If you have a topic you would like to submit, email: asktheadmiral@gmail.com  

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Captain's Corner: Quarterback Mike Bucci '15

Severn QB Mike Bucci at Homecoming game vs. Boys Latin

By: Devin Munroe '16

In the first edition of Captain's Corner I had the pleasure of interviewing football captain and quarterback Mike Bucci '15. During the interview I learned the inside scoop of the football team.

Q: What is your team's record (as of 9/24)?

A: 2-2.

Q: Are you a more offensive or defensive minded team?

A: We're more defensive.

Q: Does the team have any pre-game traditions?

A: We huddle up and Coach K says a prayer.

Q: Who is your team's unsung hero?

A: Mark Claycomb (Senior lineman, Class of '15)

Q: If you could describe your team in one word what would it be?

A: Fun.

Q: What is your team’s biggest strength?

A: Our defense and athleticism.

Q: What sets your team apart from the other teams you play?

A: We may not have the best football players, but we definitely have some of the best athletes around.

Q: What is your favorite thing about your team?

A: Everyone gets along really well and supports one another.

Q: How do your coaches influence you and your team?

A: Coach K is so energetic and positive he never fails to boost our moral.

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What I learned from the books of the Upper School Read.

The Alchemist book group at Upper School Read Day

By Zak Rosen '16

A Clockwork Orange: Teenagers don’t like made up words and children young enough to like them SHOULD NOT READ THIS BOOK.

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: The Universe is suffering and stupidity and we’re going to be blown up by aliens. It will happen.

A River Runs Through It: Fly fishing is a cure for alcoholism and Christianity.

Ashfall: Yellowstone is gonna blow. The end is nigh.

Beautiful Creatures: It really sucks when your crush’s uncle dies bringing you back to life and you don’t know what to say.

Black Like Me: This book was banned and racism is still alive and well.

Brave New World: Iggy Azalea was not born. She was hatched. And industrialism will lead to the downfall of all we call holy.

Dune: This book is responsible for the death of everyone I love in Game of Thrones. And no matter where you are, when you are, there is someone with oil that you want and will kill for.

Fahrenheit 451: START READING YOU FOOLS!

Fangirl: Fan-fiction solves everything.

Friday Night Lights: If you’re good at sports, bribery is an option.

I Am Malala: We are very, very unaccomplished. This girl is braver and more remarkable than I will ever be. She is my new hero. Move over Kennedy.

Into the Wild: The cure for existential dread is to go into the Alaskan wilderness and suffer.

Killer Angels: Not actually about murderous angels. I feel betrayed.

Sarah’s Key: Hiding from the Nazis in the wall is a great idea.

Steve Jobs: Anyone with a sweater and sideburns can be the next tech billionaire.

The Alchemist: When life beats you down, get up. Eventually it will get bored with punching you.

The Art of Racing in the Rain: Mrs. Berard’s dog is objectively the cutest thing at Severn.

The Blind Side: Some people are more frightened of you than you are of them. Some of these people just happen to be big enough to crush you like a soda can.

The Dinner: Everyone is a psychopath. I am a psychopath, you are a psychopath, that homeless person we killed is also probably a psychopath.

The Fault in Our Stars: Follow your dreams, with a conveniently located poster!

The Maze Runner: A group of teenage boys can, surprisingly, establish a Utopian society, complete with murderous demon cows.

The Outliers: A Harvard education is useless and Canada isn’t perfect. My entire life is a lie.

The Uglies: Everyone who told you plastic surgery won’t make you happy was wrong. Everyone.

Where Men Win Glory: The U.S. Government tried to cover something up. Again. Pat Tillman is a wonderful person. R.I.P.

On a serious note: We must read banned books, for if we forget what they hold, the book burners win.

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What is ISIS and why should you care about it?

By Neel Lakhanpal '16


If you’ve ever glanced at the newspapers sitting on the counter in the morning or watched the news for all of five minutes, chances are you have heard something or other about the terrorist state/organization called ISIS. Between all of the back and forth, the airstrikes, and the policy debates, many people probably aren’t fully sure what exactly ISIS is and what they are trying to do. So, here’s a little introduction to them.
ISIS is an abbreviated form of the name “the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria,” and that’s practically what they are, but more specifically, the Radical Islamic State. They are a self-proclaimed independent country, although no other country in the world recognizes them as one. The group, which has military control of significant chunks of both Syria and Iraq, is identified as a terrorist organization by many countries and has been accused of mass murder and human rights abuses. This may be happening thousands of miles away, but it does have some effect on us in the states. Obama has recently announced controversial (and costly) airstrikes against ISIS targets in the region. Additionally, there are concerns across the world as to how much power and backing the organization is slowly amassing, and if that power could be used in an attack against a country. 

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